I’ll Keep Halloween, Thanks!

My daughter is not yet school-aged. When my stepson was alive, kids were still allowed to have fun at Halloween; remember that, way back, when people realized that though Halloween may have roots in some form or religion (depending on your view), it is mostly now just about letting kids dress up and have some fun and get some candy?

I don’t know if that is a popular sentiment or not, and I don’t much care. I have wonderful memories of dressing up in my costume in the early morning and going to school, anticipating being part of the parade and the little party afterwards.

Not very many years after I stopped dressing up, I delighted in participating in my stepson’s Halloween events at his school.

It is abhorrent to me that this is being taken away. Taken away from CHILDREN, for what I feel are very unfair reasons.

Cultural diversity is about as important to me as my lungs; I think it is an imperative part of who we are as a nation and as individual people and cultures that make up that nation. I will uphold anyone’s right to believe in what they choose, whether I believe it or not. I understand that not everyone wants to celebrate Halloween. No objections here! But just because you don’t want to shouldn’t mean I can’t.

I seem to recall the days that I was granted leave from class if something was happening that I didn’t want to participate in (mostly Science class…I wasn’t dissecting ANYTHING) for any reason, as long as I had my parents blessing. When did it become more about removing things from everyone for the sake of the few? I am not saying I want anyone to be excluded from a greater group because they don’t believe in a minor event. All I am asking is that the rights of the people to hold that minor event not be eroded to the point where no one has any fun at all.

Respecting rights is a very fine line, one I am happy to walk. I just want everyone else to walk it too.

Is your child participating in Halloween events today? What are your thoughts on schools cancelling Halloween parades and parties? Comment below!

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Let’s Trash the “Working Mom”, Please!

I am a mom, and I have a job-one that does not involve being a mom.

I hate the term working mom, because we don’t call them working dads, do we? Yes. I understand the etymology of the term ‘working mom'; I am aware that once upon a time it was unusual for women to have full-time jobs.

“‘Working mom’ are two words that are becoming a little less dirty these days, since more women are choosing to work outside the home.”

That sentence just made me a little nauseous. And I see that sentence EVERYWHERE. Every article I read on being a working mom has that sentence, or a derivative of it, somewhere in its text. It makes me a little nauseous for two reasons: one, it assumes we all have made a “choice” to leave our children with someone else for more hours than they are with us in a day, and two, it makes me feel like it’s weird for a woman to leave her house to work.

We are a humankind (too) slowly warming to the idea that men and women are equal. My husband and I share the child-rearing responsibilities, and the housework, as equally as we can (he knows to stay the hell away from the female laundry though-neither my daughter or I would appreciate grey-blue undies that used to be white. That’s not a gender stereotype-he is the first to admit he sucks at laundry), and cover for each other when either of us has to work late. That’s called being a family….not some ridiculous, guilt-making term like ‘working mom’.

Would I love to work at home? DUH! Hello, yoga pants to a high-level meeting! “More time with your baby if you work from home!” No. If I am working, does the location really matter? If I am working at my office, my daughter is in daycare. If I was working at home, my daughter would still be in daycare. Work is work, regardless of where I do it, and deadlines are still deadlines.  Granted, she would be dropped off at 9 am and picked up by 4:30, instead of the current 7 am drop-off and 5:30 pm pick-up.

I am all for women who want to stay home and raise their children, and all for dads who want to do it too. If you can afford it, all the power to you!!! I may even harbor a little jealousy. I don’t feel guilty for having a job-my family lives in the house we do because we work. We can go on modest vacations because we work. Our daughter lacks for nothing because we work; I don’t see how one of us staying home with her and giving up an income is giving her a better life.

I know all to well the value of time; if you read my blog you know that. We try to make the moments we do have with her that much more fun, for all of us (it also makes it a lot easier to forget the little annoyances of parenting!)

In my ideal world, we would drop the term ‘working mom’….we don’t call men ‘working dads’! I think giving it a label makes it different, makes it unusual, when it isn’t. Can’t we just be people who work?

What do you think? Please comment below, I would love to hear all sides!!

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vodka, among other things.

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